I can’t figure what to name this post, so it’s “untitled.”

A range of emotions and feelings today. One that I’m fighting the hardest is that of inadequacy…simply realizing that I rely upon myself, my own wisdom, my own ways….which incidentally God declares foolish…way too much. Although I know there is a lot of grace for the journey, but I can’t help but wonder how I can become less so He can be more. Do you know I mean? It’s funny, I fight my flesh SO much on the idea of obedience.

I actually fight thoughts that I could be TOO spiritual…like somehow being all that God has called me to be would make me have less fun in life. Or that I may have to give up things that feed my flesh for something less fulfilling. Or that if I pursued too hard or too much, I might actually realize that there is more to my calling than what currently meets the eye. What would that look like? Honestly…it FREAKS me out. I think that I’ve held this idea of my eventual destiny at a place that allows me to peak but not actually look at what it could be. If so, Lord forgive me. All of these hesitations are simply disobedience to what you have for me.

John 15:5 says that “If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” This pretty much sums it all up. What am I waiting for? How could I want anything less? Honestly, I don’t think I do…I just am chisling away at old habits of half-hearted devotion to the great I AM.

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You know what really has my attention right now? Check this out…

Matthew 28:18-20 (The Message)
“18 Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: “God authorized and commanded me to commission you: 19Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 20Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.”

Now let me set this up. I constantly hear people gripe and complain about what the church IS NOT doing for them. It comes in all shapes and sizes…from complaints about the Pastor, music, teaching or lack thereof, and so on. However, consider this…

verse 18…God authorized and commanded Jesus to commission you (Christians) to go out and train (defined as teaching a particular skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time) everyone you meet in the ways of God. Then when they’ve been trained, instruct (defined as give a personal direction, information, or authorization) in the ways that we’ve been tought. — If this is God’s commission to us, what are we doing with it? Are we discipling people? Are we taking this seriously?

Logically you can conclude that I am disobedient to God’s commission if I am not participating in some form of discipleship. Obviously there is grace for our circumstances, but then again, don’t we often disguise grace with laziness? I do. It’s easy to call on grace when I simply don’t want to…