It’s day 10 of a 40 day fast. The first 9 days have gone by rather quickly. However, if I’m honest, I’m rather disappointed with my spiritual state at this point. I awoke this morning at 5am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I wish I could say it was because God was calling me to arise but after 30 minutes of being available and searching my heart, nothing came to mind. So now, I’m up and writing out my thoughts, prayers and yes, frustrations too.

Recently, the Desperation Band released a new record entitled Who You Are. On it, there’s a song that is really resonating with my heart this morning. If I awoke with anything, it was this song in my head. The song is called Ready Now. Check out the words:

Come like You promised You would
I want to surrender for good
I know that I need You
And I don’t want to keep living life alone

So take my heart
And make it new
And make it true
And make it like You

Take my hands
I lift them high
They’re Yours not mine to do
Do what You will, do what You will
Do what You will

I feel like a blind man in Your sight
I know that I’m wicked in Your eyes
So wash me and make me shine like Your Son
I want to tell everyone that You’re the only One

I’m ready now
I’m ready now
I’m ready now
Do what you will

I’m ready now
I’m ready now
I’m ready now

I can’t shake the availability of this song. It’s open. It’s vulnerable. It’s where I’m at. I have 40 days to know my God as intimately as I can and somehow I feel that within the first nine, I’ve missed their potential. During my seven day fast this past February, I remember having very similar thoughts; “is this working? am I really doing this for the right reasons? God, are you and I getting any closer?” What’s amazing about this state, is that I’m willing to do whatever I have to, to know that His face. I’m more than willing to feel the deep hunger pangs if that means that I can know him more. I’m ready to take as little as I have to, if that means that I can have more of Him. I’m ready now. I’M READY NOW!

So Lord, take my heart, make it new, make it true. Take my hands, I lift them high. They’re yours, not mine. Do what you will. I’m ready now. I’M READY NOW! Do what you have to.