Today is day 14 and day 15.

Day 14 of my fast. It’s going well…not at all hungry, just at times uncomfortable. What I mean by that is that I’m not uncomfortable with anything except the idea that I can’t eat. Yeah. Chew on that. I’m not hungry but my mind is bothered by the fact that I can’t eat. — I’ve got to figure out what all that’s about.

Day 15 of our third attempt to become pregnant in the past year. Two weeks ago today, August 4, Kristy and I did an IVF procedure to help us get pregnant. At Fertility CARE, where Kristy works, they have an approximate 70% success rate at getting pregnant through this procedure. We were hopeful; until today. At mid-morning, Kristy called to inform me that it did not work; we’re not pregnant. Of course I’m disappointed. However, it seems that we were both more prepared for this than we expected. To explain, after she called me, it seemed that we were both preparing for the liklihood that this wouldn’t take. I don’t know if you could call that protecting our expectations or simply if the Lord was spiritually preparing us; I don’t know that I’ll ever know. What I do know, and my mom said it best, whenever and whoever God decides to bring to us as our children, watch out! God’s tagged them as very special kid(s) and He’s got to have something unique and huge for them. Until then, we wait for His timing. He obviously isn’t going to let us be in control of that—AT ALL! And that’s okay. We’re still planning for a family. Whether that’s our own biological child or to rescue one of another mom and dad, we’ll love that child regardless.

Today, I’m hopeful.