Controlling Relationships

Posted on 28. May, 2009 by Kyle in Leadership

On a recent date-night, my wife and I ventured to see the movie Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. While I can’t say that I thought this was a stellar, or even a good, flick, I did walk away with an unexpected surprise.

The context of the film is quite simple and common today, unfortunately. You have a guy who gets any girl he wants, except the one he really wants. So rather than pursuing her, he rejects, mocks and is audaciously crude in a weak attempt to conjure up a jealous reaction. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Meanwhile, the story reveals that his Uncle taught him how to be “that guy” from an early age, based on the following statement…

Control belongs to the one who cares the least

Wow.

This is so remarkably profound that I have yet to be able to prove it wrong. In fact, I believe that it reveals a truth behind the majority, if not all, relational breakdowns experienced in marriage, parenting, friendship and even in the workplace.

Control is nothing more than displaced power. Ultimately, the best friend, spouse, parent, leader, manager—you name it—inspires others to live up to their potential. Moreover, they understand that relational power is delicate and very powerful when harnessed for the good. When harnessed for the bad, it become self-centered, manipulating and ultimately destructive for both parties; guaranteed.

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7 Responses to “Controlling Relationships”

  1. @b_rewster

    10. Jun, 2009

    wow. i told my wife the same thing. That statement is amazing and has an impact over all areas of our relationships. And God cares more than we do…

    Reply to this comment

  2. JamesD

    11. Jun, 2009

    Thanks for the useful info. It’s so interesting

    Reply to this comment

  3. Ben

    24. Jun, 2009

    I agree completely. How sad it is that something that can be so good is often used to cause much harm. True leadership is one of the best things in the world. Control, however, is like an energy drain. Thanks for the great blog.

    Reply to this comment

  4. Stephanie

    16. Jul, 2009

    Okay, so if I care the most, I'm controllable, I see that. And, I think where I go to work is to care without attachment, if that makes sense. Love and care because it feels good to me, whatever he does…

    Reply to this comment

  5. How To Get A Girl

    17. Jul, 2009

    In attempt to impress a girl, many tend to give the control in the girl's hands. Though the trick works well for the purpose but lately causes trouble. A balance should be maintained so that each person involved in a relations feels respected.

    Reply to this comment

  6. misi

    20. Jul, 2009

    I believe that once you know how to respect others, you can always control yourself.

    Reply to this comment

  7. @b_rewster

    09. Feb, 2010

    wow. i told my wife the same thing. That statement is amazing and has an impact over all areas of our relationships. And God cares more than we do…

    Reply to this comment

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