Today is day 11 and it’s a good day. Although I’m a bit hungrier than normal, I’m realizing that my hunger is becoming a calling card to sit with the lord for a bit.

Now onto the good news of the day.

Over the past 6 weeks, I’ve been building the foundation for a new business that I launched on July 1. After a last weeks vacation, already this week, I’ve landed my first consulting contract, solidified some sales for my new promotional products division, landed two new design projects and sold my truck…and it’s only Tuesday.

I can only assume that this fast is placing me in position for god’s favor more and more everyday. Makes me wonder why life can’t be like this forever. My spiritual drive kicks into high gear simply because I’m denying food? I’ll never understand why that happens, but I believe in it 100%. Now I understand why the disciples made fasting a part of their lives. It didn’t come like holidays, it was a part of who they were and how they lived. Maybe it’s time to reassess how I’ll live my life from here on out.

And it’s only day 11.

During my 40 days, I’m reading a book called Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. Even after the first chapter, I’m challenged and perplexed at my own “will worship.” Let me explain.

Paul, in Romans, refers to sin as a condition that plagues the human race (Rom. 3:9-18). Foster writes, “Sin as a condition works its way out through the ‘bodily members,’ that is, the ingrained habits of the body.” Because we are constantly facing our own ingrained habits (sin), we as Christians, are constantly trying to work sin out of our lives. But here’s the kicker. “We want to make it quite clear that we cannot free and purify our own heart by exerting our own ‘will’ … The moment we feel we can succeed and attain victory over sin by the stregth of our will alone is the moment we are worshiping the will.” That’s our will…our drive…our own abilities. That’s when we’ve turned from God to ourselves for power and influence. “As long as we think we can save ourselves by our own will power, we will only make the evil in us stronger than ever.” — So I’m seeing some new light personally. Even in regards to the post earlier this morning, after re-reading it…I’m really relying on my absence of food to “do” something for my spiritual state. When, in fact, the needed change within us/me, is God’s work through righteousness, not our own. “We cannot attain or earn this righteousness of the kingdom of God; it is a grace that is given.

Romans 5:17 says:

For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.

The two things in this scripture that are freely given, grace and righteousness, are also two things that man cannot create. Grace can only be given by man because it’s been given to us and righteousness is deposited when we’ve made ourselves available for His inward work. It is through the disciplines that “allow us to place ourselves before God so that He can transform us.”

It’s day 10 of a 40 day fast. The first 9 days have gone by rather quickly. However, if I’m honest, I’m rather disappointed with my spiritual state at this point. I awoke this morning at 5am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I wish I could say it was because God was calling me to arise but after 30 minutes of being available and searching my heart, nothing came to mind. So now, I’m up and writing out my thoughts, prayers and yes, frustrations too.

Recently, the Desperation Band released a new record entitled Who You Are. On it, there’s a song that is really resonating with my heart this morning. If I awoke with anything, it was this song in my head. The song is called Ready Now. Check out the words:

Come like You promised You would
I want to surrender for good
I know that I need You
And I don’t want to keep living life alone

So take my heart
And make it new
And make it true
And make it like You

Take my hands
I lift them high
They’re Yours not mine to do
Do what You will, do what You will
Do what You will

I feel like a blind man in Your sight
I know that I’m wicked in Your eyes
So wash me and make me shine like Your Son
I want to tell everyone that You’re the only One

I’m ready now
I’m ready now
I’m ready now
Do what you will

I’m ready now
I’m ready now
I’m ready now

I can’t shake the availability of this song. It’s open. It’s vulnerable. It’s where I’m at. I have 40 days to know my God as intimately as I can and somehow I feel that within the first nine, I’ve missed their potential. During my seven day fast this past February, I remember having very similar thoughts; “is this working? am I really doing this for the right reasons? God, are you and I getting any closer?” What’s amazing about this state, is that I’m willing to do whatever I have to, to know that His face. I’m more than willing to feel the deep hunger pangs if that means that I can know him more. I’m ready to take as little as I have to, if that means that I can have more of Him. I’m ready now. I’M READY NOW!

So Lord, take my heart, make it new, make it true. Take my hands, I lift them high. They’re yours, not mine. Do what you will. I’m ready now. I’M READY NOW! Do what you have to.

This August myself and my friend Rob will be participating in a 40 day fast. Even as I type it, it seems crazy and a bit surreal, but based off of my 7 day fasting experience this past February, I am, at heart, excited. My flesh is honestly hesistant. One thing I learned in my previous fasts’ God will not only honor, but blow my mind on what He’ll do through this exercise of discipline and complete reliance on Him. My 7 days this past February were phenominal. I expect nothing less for the upcoming 40 day fast.

I challenge you, to consider participating. For more information about the fast, go to www.starvingjesus.com for more information.