Once I found out that I was going to be a dad, it seemed that parents couldn’t resist the urge to tell me how I would draw spiritual principles from watching my child grow up. I have to admit, I really liked the idea.

Over the past year, I’ve watched Savannah grow and have found myself intentionally looking for lessons to be learned. I’d like to offer dozens of insights gleaned throughout the past year, but I have nothing…until now.

Recently, I rolled a small ball to Savannah’s lap. She promptly scooped it up, held it tightly, looked at me and gave me a squishy face smile that would cause anybody to laugh out loud in response. She loved the ball, she loved the game, she loved that moment. I looked at Kristy and said, “what would life be like if we had the joy of a child.” And there it was.

It’s been weeks since then. I can’t seem to get away from it. It chases me, haunts me and tempts me to look at things differently…but I can’t; at least not yet. Best I can tell, to be that joyful requires me to see the best in everything and everybody. If I am honest, I’ve created quite a concrete perspective in looking at things critically. That’s my gift…at least I thought. Today, I learned that it’s not my gift…it’s my pride. No wonder I don’t see things like a child. Rather than looking at the fullness that life has to offer, I choose to focus on the improvements that life could bring. Where’s the joy in that?

I want, nothing more, than move beyond the criticism and into the fullness of joy. It just seems more fun.

What about you?

If you’ve read this blog over the years, no doubt that you’ve shared the highs and low of the process that Kristy and I have gone through to start our family. After six infertility treatments (five artificial insemination and one round of IVF), two miscarriages and a whirlwind of emotions, last year on July 17, Savannah Grace was celebrated in ridiculous fashion as she made her way into the world. Needless to say, we were one of the lucky ones to have had our girl after going through so much.

You might be wondering why we had to go through all of those procedures? We were too. I’m not talking about why God made us go through all of that, rather what was going on with either of our bodies to purpose us with this process. While we never figured it out, we had always concluded that our future attempts would take the same road.

We were wrong.

March 2008, we found out that we were pregnant. Much to our surprise, we headed to the doctor to confirm what five, yes 1-2-3-4-5 pregnancy sticks had already told us. It was true, but so were the signs of miscarriage. Days later we lost our third baby.

Normally, this would have devastated us but something remarkable had happened; we got pregnant on our own. That’s never, repeat NEVER, happened before. We hesitated to claim our healing, our miracle, but we did. Remarkably, the joy of the miracle cast a shadow on our grief.

The very next month, it happened. Pregnant again!

As of today, we’re rounding the bend towards 11 weeks. The baby is healthy and growing.

Over the past five years, we celebrated, laughed, cried, been angry, demanded answers, agreed to disagree with God, and wondered if we’d ever be a family. Today, we’re a family of three with another on the way.

Miracles do happen.

I awoke to realize that Kristy was needing some extra sleep so I jumped at the opportunity to play Mr Mom for awhile. Talk about a renewed respect for what Kristy goes through everyday. Minutes before I was to walk out the door, I had breakfast, my laptop bag, diaper bag, car seat with Savannah and a play mat in hand ready to go to work. “Don’t forget to grab some milk”—I must have said it a 6.5 times.

20 minutes later I pull into the office and the moment I opened the door to pull my little sweet snookums out of the backseat—DANGIT! I forgot the milk!!! What was I to do. Wake Kristy? I can’t just create the stuff on my own. Savannah has to eat in an hour. Thank God Kristy’s parents had a backup supply (you have no idea how many bags we have in the freezer…I’m actually thinking of selling the stuff—JUST KIDDING!). Off Savannah and I went to Keith & Sharry’s to get her mid-morning snack.

10:07am. 7 minutes past Savannah’s scheduled mealtime. I’m rushing up the stairs (with Savannah in tow) to thaw out the milk and feed my girl.

11:15am. Savannah is fed and burped but isn’t at all interested in sleeping. So I place her on the play mat and caught this on my phone…

Her first official laugh (for me anyway)!

11:45ish am. Savannah finally falls asleep…like this

12:15pm. Kristy shows up and we go to lunch.

1:30pm. I finally get to “work”

Oh, and the renewed respect for Kristy? Yeah. So after being at “work” for almost 4 hours, I finally got to “work” 5 hours later. Go figure…but I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. I got QT with my sweet Savannah and I got to hear her first laugh.

That. Is priceless.