If you’ve read this blog over the years, no doubt that you’ve shared the highs and low of the process that Kristy and I have gone through to start our family. After six infertility treatments (five artificial insemination and one round of IVF), two miscarriages and a whirlwind of emotions, last year on July 17, Savannah Grace was celebrated in ridiculous fashion as she made her way into the world. Needless to say, we were one of the lucky ones to have had our girl after going through so much.

You might be wondering why we had to go through all of those procedures? We were too. I’m not talking about why God made us go through all of that, rather what was going on with either of our bodies to purpose us with this process. While we never figured it out, we had always concluded that our future attempts would take the same road.

We were wrong.

March 2008, we found out that we were pregnant. Much to our surprise, we headed to the doctor to confirm what five, yes 1-2-3-4-5 pregnancy sticks had already told us. It was true, but so were the signs of miscarriage. Days later we lost our third baby.

Normally, this would have devastated us but something remarkable had happened; we got pregnant on our own. That’s never, repeat NEVER, happened before. We hesitated to claim our healing, our miracle, but we did. Remarkably, the joy of the miracle cast a shadow on our grief.

The very next month, it happened. Pregnant again!

As of today, we’re rounding the bend towards 11 weeks. The baby is healthy and growing.

Over the past five years, we celebrated, laughed, cried, been angry, demanded answers, agreed to disagree with God, and wondered if we’d ever be a family. Today, we’re a family of three with another on the way.

Miracles do happen.

My pastor, Dale Evrist, has declared that this year, our church would be focused on the understanding and implementation of the theme, “A New Day, A New Way” [podcast]. Really! A new day and a new way? What does this mean?

I’ve been around “church” for a long time and after awhile, it’s easy to hear a teaching like this and move on as if I already understand and know what’s being said (ahem, pride!). Fortunately, this series and theme, hasn’t fallen on deaf and prideful ears. I’m very, very, challenged by what I’m hearing and it’s causing a lot of questions, concerns and thought.

Today (Sunday), at the end of the church service, pastor Dale said something that has captured my attention all day. Simply put…

“You are not called to be served, but to serve.”

The weight of that comment came in the context in which it was presented. He offered this challenge. When you go to lunch today, you aren’t there to be served, but to serve your waiter/waitress. It doesn’t matter if they don’t serve you well. What matters is that you serve them well.

Has anyone else noticed that customer service is at an all-time low? My personal favorite is when I go through a drive-thru and not one word is said beyond what I owe. So, in those moments, I’m supposed to serve them! Folks, this isn’t going to be easy for me. Often times, the business owner in me is running over ways that their service could be improved. Apparently, I should be using that time to go over ways that I can improve my service to them. Jeez. Where do I start? I have a lot of habits that need to be changed. Honestly, my mind is resisting this change in thinking.

This methodology, approach, paradigm shift…whatever you want to call it, doesn’t stop here. Here’s a list of other areas it applies:

• Seek first to care, rather than be cared for
• Seek first to understand, than be understood
• Seek first to listen, rather than dominate the conversation
• Seek first to apologize, than to look for an apology
• Seek first to initiate conversation, than to be conversed with
• Seek first to plan dinner, than to expect that dinner is planned
• Seek first to be generous, than to expect generosity
• Seek first to learn, rather than to educate
• Seek first to ask, rather than be asked
• Seek first to give thanks, rather than complain

What is your “seek first?”

For awhile, I’ve been rethinking my blog. Honestly I wondered if it was worth my time. After a lot of thought and goal review, I determined that this is to be an outlet for the things that I learn as a husband, father, friend, business owner and disciple of Jesus. They say that the best way to learn something is to teach it. While I’m technically not “teaching” it here, I will be forced to rewrite things in my own language, thus giving the same results…education.

That being said, I leave you with this…something that I learned this weekend at church:

Seek first to love, rather than to be loved.
Seek first to care, rather than be cared for.
For if we seek to love and care first, then everybody will be loved and cared for.

“If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed. (PVBS: 29:18, The Message)

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit distant form the corporate spiritual climate in our city and church. I’m not talking about feeling disconnected to friends or the vision, but the passion and drive that pushes you from observation to activation. That’s been missing. It’s lack has been bugging me for quite some time…until today.

This morning at church, our pastor,Dale Evrist, gave a prophetic word that nailed me to the core. He said:

There is a deception of being overwhelmed that’s purpose is to isolate you from what God is doing in and around. It’s a lie and we can’t give Satan room with it.

Ever have one of those moments where you aren’t quite sure how to describe what you’re feeling but someone says something and it wraps it up perfectly? Yeah, when he said that today, I was convicted. That was me. Key phrase, WAS.

Interestingly, one of the definitions that dictionary.com uses to define “overwhelmed” is:

To defeat completely and decisively:

DEFEAT! Who knew that when I was talking about being overwhelmed, I was actually declaring that I’ve been defeated. There’s power in my words and I too often declare that I’m “overwhelmed.” Now it’s clear to me why this is a deception. Jesus promises to give us everything we need. In fact, His grace is sufficient for today.

But this doesn’t stop with my spiritual pursuit. I find that I used my business, our transition, Britt’Knee’s story and arrival (or lack thereof), social calendar…just about everything to isolate me from participating in personal and corporate worship. Those things that bring me closer to Jesus and closer to people who will help me along my journey. What a crock Satan has had on me.

Note that the definition said decisively. Or better defined, calculated and on purpose. These things aren’t just flippant distractions. They are calculated and deliberate based on what Satan knows will distract me. You see, I know me best and I can tell you that all of my excuses are things that i care deeply about, but my perspective on them has been focused too much on how they affect me, rather than being focused on how those things play into God’s bigger plan and strategy.

Today, I’ve had to repent of my frequent verbal declarations of defeat. I am no longer defeated, I win. Just read the back of the Book.