Last night, my wife and I ventured out to dinner at a reputable deli near our house. Upon the delivery of my salad, one quick look at the cheese and I knew there was something wrong. The waitress was caught off guard when I looked at her and said, “this cheese is moldy” and asked for a fresh serving. Minutes later she returning declaring, “the cheese is okay” of which I assured her, it wasn’t.

All I was asking for was something fresh.

Today, you and I are both heading, full-force, back into reality. If you’re not careful, you’ll reach for the motivation that you had weeks ago when you left for vacation, rather than looking for something fresh. Your attitude this morning may be the first indicator of your freshness. If it stinks, perhaps you’re relying upon moldy motivations? Is that you? Here are three things you can do to freshen up:

1. Put your head down and smile. Go ahead and try it. It may be awkward, but I guarantee you won’t be to not smile, or at least smirk, when you’re done.

2. Do a favor for a coworker, without being asked. Look around and find a need, then meet it. The satisfaction of helping to meet someone elses need is guaranteed to bring you an internal smile.

3. Go back to day one. On day one, expectations, challenges and the possibilities were fully in focus. It was at this time that nothing could stop you. Go there again. You are unstoppable.

The fresh stuff isn’t that far from you. All you need to do is reach for it.

I’ve had plenty of conversations with people over the years about social networking (blogging, Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, LinkedIn etc). Based on those conversations, I find that there are many types of social network users, but for now, we’re going to concentrate on two: reactive and proactive.

Reactive social networkers experience life and then post about it. It becomes your next blog post, your next Twitter, a picture posted on Flickr or your next status update on Facebook. Simply stated, life happened and you want to tell people about it. The main benefit to this approach is that it gives you “presence” with your friends, family and colleagues.  It asks and answers the question, “What am I doing?”

Proactive social networking is completely different. When you view each social network proactively, you have a baseline understanding that whether you like it or not, every Twitter, blog, picture posted, or comment left, is one step towards building your personal brand and reputation. Like the butterfly effect, each contribution builds upon another to create what people, especially those who only know you online, will know you by. The main benefit to this approach is that YOU determine how people know and judge you. It requires you think beyond “What am I doing?” but also about, “What do I want to be about? What am I interested in? What am I learning? Who am I learning from?” Proactive social networking asks and answers many questions, not just one.

When it comes down to it, your intentions, whether defined or not, is what drives your expectations for social network activity. For me, I choose to utilize these networks as a tool in which I can learn, engage, extend my “network” and inspire people to make their mark on this world. For many, and probably most people, it’s a tool in which you keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues. One is not right over another. It’s how you choose to use the tools.

Seth Godin says, “Many of us are taught to do our best and then let the world decide how to judge us. I think it’s better to do your best and decide how you want to be judged. And act that way.”

Do you agree?

All filters require cleaning and changing. Overtime, they become clogged and full of dirt, residue and waste. If you don’t change the filter, your system bogs down and requires an increase in resources to operate at a normal capacity. This results in decrease output and efficiency.

Personal filters are no different.

We all start with a clean filter, then life happens: hurts, frustrations, abuse, misunderstanding, distrust, hate … the list goes on.

Here are five warnings signs that your filters need a change:

• You assume you know what people are thinking
• You start a sentence with “I will never…”
• You offer more complaints than thanks
• You’re always looking to place blame
• You’re quick to judge someone you don’t know or just met

The important thing is to react quickly when your filters require a cleaning or change. If you miss the warning signs, your ability to see reality become seriously hindered, if not impossible.

Do yourself a favor, start today by changing one filter and leave a comment below on how your perspective changed. Here are some filters to choose from:

• job
• finances
• spouse
• child
• boss
• friend
• yourself

It’s time to change the filters.

Too often, we take life for granted. We believe that we’re invincible—that nothing can or will touch us. Nobody would admit it, but that’s what we believe.

Often times, when “life” hits, we hear people say, “I had no idea _________.” It’s then that the idea of an accident, cancer, seizures, death and even birth, solidifies and we embrace empathy. Our perspective allows us to understand what someone is going through and we reach out knowing exactly what it means to live life in their shoes.

For those of us who are going through these life circumstances, we have a choice to make: how will we respond?

If you’re looking to place blame in answer to the question of “why,” welcome to being a victim.

If you’re looking to the face of hope, you’ll find that “life” has no power over you. It’s fleeting.

Today, my dad is in the hospital fighting a blood infection, recovering from surgery on his neck and fighting to kill the cancer that invades his body. Moreover, my sister is fighting to kill a cancerous brain tumor that earnestly desires to overtake her, while living with the “life” that results from such an intrusion. Furthermore, one year ago, my mom was recovering from a life saving surgery on her neck.

I refuse to give honor to the “life” my family is fighting through and with. It doesn’t deserve the attention. We choose to be thankful for each other and the time we have today.

Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.

Want to practice your emphathy? Randy Miller of the band, The Myriad, needs your help. Go here (YouTube.com) to learn how you can empathize with this family in deseperate need of a miracle.

The 18-34 generation is one that often defends and complains that they aren’t heard enough. Yet, the statistics prove that we don’t put our money where our mouth is. In a typical election, only 25% of our demographic will cast their vote. All I have to say is this, today is your day to be heard.

Stop complaining and cast your vote!

Over the past few months I have become more deliberate in how I utilize social networking because I began to realize that there was something more to it than gaining “friends” and “followers.”

If you look at it from a different perspective, you’ll start to notice that these networks can become one of the best tools the web has to offer. In fact, for me, social networking has become an invaluable set of tools; each serving a very specific purpose. For example:

• My Blog [ subscribe ] - I utilize this format to write out my thoughts on being a dad, husband, business owner and student of Christ.
• Facebook - This service helps me find old friends, keep in touch with family, network with business contacts and have “presence” with all of the above.
• LinkedIn often comes in handy. Why? If you can build a big enough network, you can find just about anybody. This is especially useful when you need the specific name of someone to aid in prospecting a client, asking a question or even submitting a complaint.
• Twitter is my favorite. Of all the social networks out there, Twitter does for me what none of the others have done yet: it connects me with people in real time. Furthermore, I can honestly say that Twitter has done more to extend my “network” than any of the others, combined. And when I say “network,” I mean meeting new people I want to meet.

Through all of these social networks, I have discovered new people who are experiencing life in ways that I will never be able to. Because of my “friends” willingness to update their status’, post a blog, add pictures, or simply write a short note on my “wall,” I am given permission to watch what’s going on, see who they are interested in and peek into life, as they know and share it.

However, the biggest surprise I’ve found in social networking? Unintentional mentors. These are the “friends” that I assimilate clues, patterns, tips and nuggets of wisdom from, on a regular basis. They are people who model aspects of life I strive for, who lead the way in my entrepreneurial space and who have the perspective of God that I deeply desire.

If you’re like me and you recognize that there are life lesson and experience gaps in your thinking and worldviews, then you understand the paramount need to learn as much as you can. While my personal pursuit for a face to face mentor hasn’t been as successful as I would like it to be, believe it or not, social networking, specifically Twitter, is beginning to meet my needs.

Rather than leaving this theoretical, I’d like to introduce some fellow “friends” that you might be interested in:

• Michael Hyatt [ Blog | Twitter ] is perhaps, the most inspiring and influential person I follow. In fact, I would say that I’ve learned more in the past six months from him, than anyone else in my social network.
• Phil Cooke [ Blog ] says it like it is. He offers a great perspective on faith, culture and media that I enjoy reading. He inspires me to become more bold.
• Cara Davis [ Blog | Twitter ] - This girl is the blogging queen. She simultaneously contributes to 5-6 blogs on a regular basis while working and being a mom of a toddler. She inspires me to stick with the day-to-day, even when it may not look like it’s making a difference.
• Seth Godin [ Blog ] writes a blog post almost daily. Each entry offers a paradigm shift, if you’ll let it. This makes me want to write better.

There are scores of other people that I could mention that would fit the description of “inspiring,” but the people above are those that I don’t let a Twitter or a blog post go by without reading it. They, like the thousands of others, have something unique to offer.

Social networking can you be your “friend” and it can be one of the greatest tools you’ll ever use. Like everything else, it’s up to you to make the most out of it.

For those of you who are right there with me, who are your unintentional mentors? I’d like to add to my “friends.”

One of my favorite things about the TV is it’s ability to tell stories. If you know me at all, you know that movies based on a true story are something that have always gravitated to. That’s why Schinder’s List is one of my all time favorite movies. Not because it tells a heart warming story, but because it tells of something that I’ll never hear about first hand.

God Grew Tired of Us is a fascinating story about the 25,000 boys that fled from the Sudan government to save their lives. By the time the Lost Boys of Sudan found their way into Kenya, there were only 10,000 that remained. The rest simply didn’t make it. The documentary is a two-part story: the first is about who the Lost Boys of Sudan are, and the second is that of three boys journey to restart their lives in the US.

From light switches, refrigerators, running water, air planes, to the grocery store, the documentary reveals their first encounters with what we know to be normal. While that is fascinating, what captures your attention is their first hand perspective on differences in each culture.To give you a sense, one of the boys had this to say about Christmas.

“I wish someone could explain to me who this Santa Claus is. Is he in the Bible? How does he welcome the birth of Christ?”

Obviously very confused, he goes on to say,

“This tree is very nice, very beautiful, but I do not understand what it has to do with Christmas.”

The documentary is full of this dialogue and it challenges me to not just notice the differences, but question if my commitment to what they declared as abnormal, should remain my normal.

I highly recommend that you check out this documentary. It’s well worth the 89 minutes.

Given that I do marketing for a living, I’ve been interested and at times, fascinated at Obama’s ability to use the wide range of marketing tools to his benefit for his Presidential campaign. Of course, he’s working with a dream budget but that’s besides the point.

In an innovative and very “personal” move, Obama announced that he would announce his VP nomination via text message to his supporters before he told the press.

At 11:50p, CNN breaking news sent me a text message:

“CNN confirms Sen. Barack Obama has chosen Delaweare Sen. Joe Biden to be his vice-presidential running mate.”

It’s 11:58pm … I still haven’t seen a text message from the Obama camp.

There’s been questions whether Obama’s effort to hold out on revealing the VP pick would hurt him, I doubt it. But now he has to answer for why he promised that the people would be the first to know, and we’re not. While CNN likely leaked the news, Obama’s camp should have known and anticipated as such.

The truth is, there is no way Obama could have accomplished what he claimed to do. When you consider how fast news travels, thanks to tools like Twitter, he didn’t have a chance to live up to his commitment.

Considering the impossibility of the promise, it makes me wonder about the rest of what he’s promising. Does he really know what he’s committing to?

Barack has chosen Senator Joe Biden to be our VP nominee. Watch the frist Obama-Biden rally live at 3pm ET on www.BarackObama.com. Spread the word!

Again, from a marketing standpoint, the language is worth noting:

• He’s referenced on a first name basis. A sign of personal friendship. (Remember when your parents required you to call people Mr. and Mrs. out of respect?
• They used “our,” not “his” VP nominee when referring to Senator Biden

Kudos to Obama’s campaign for being deliberate in positioning him as the peoples candidate. While it makes people believe that they are involved, the truth is, Americans won’t have anymore say this election than previous. The question is, will Obama’s approach really make a positive difference or is it a self-fulling prophecy?

I find that my criticism is a persistent little pest. It crept up, without hesitation, too many times today. It’s apparent to me that my pride isn’t just going to go away, I’m going to have to work through it. Let’s start with…

Work

I’m a business owner. The company is now in it’s third year after celebrating the two-year mark on July 1, 2008. While this is a success in and of itself, about every three-to-four months, I get in a funk. And when I say a funk, I mean that I’m moody, dissatisfied and generally frustrated…with a lot of things. This is prime time for my criticism to step in. For some reason, it feels justified.

After going through three notable funks, I’ve only been able to conclude that I want what the “successful” guys have. I look at the “Top 30 under 30″ and my name isn’t there. I look at guys who are “making their mark” and wonder why I’m spinning my wheels. I look for “inspiration” from their blogs or the “top” whatever lists and stir in my frustration that I’m not doing a thing to reach this level. The cycle of jealously is a never ending circle that I jump into with both feet in hopes that it will spur me on to even more success. But, it never satisfies. I still get funky.

The other day, a guy stopped by my office to do some freelance work for us. After chatting a bit, I questioned his rates. I told him that he was undervaluing himself and that he needed to raise his rates. He reacted by saying, “how can I raise my rates if I’m not getting the opportunity to send a quote?”

After he left, my thoughts were arrested. How could I be so … ungrateful. At Motiveight, is seems like we are always tracking down new opportunities. Even recently, we’ve been fortunate to submit proposals to great companies like Inspiration Networks, CompuPay, Willow Creek Association and others. It was then that I realized that this guy would kill to be in my shoes and here I sat ungrateful because I don’t have what these other “successful” guys have.

CS Lewis says, “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man.”

OUCH!

The more I search, the more I find that pride and joy are mutually exclusive. If I want one, I have to give up the other.

Once I found out that I was going to be a dad, it seemed that parents couldn’t resist the urge to tell me how I would draw spiritual principles from watching my child grow up. I have to admit, I really liked the idea.

Over the past year, I’ve watched Savannah grow and have found myself intentionally looking for lessons to be learned. I’d like to offer dozens of insights gleaned throughout the past year, but I have nothing…until now.

Recently, I rolled a small ball to Savannah’s lap. She promptly scooped it up, held it tightly, looked at me and gave me a squishy face smile that would cause anybody to laugh out loud in response. She loved the ball, she loved the game, she loved that moment. I looked at Kristy and said, “what would life be like if we had the joy of a child.” And there it was.

It’s been weeks since then. I can’t seem to get away from it. It chases me, haunts me and tempts me to look at things differently…but I can’t; at least not yet. Best I can tell, to be that joyful requires me to see the best in everything and everybody. If I am honest, I’ve created quite a concrete perspective in looking at things critically. That’s my gift…at least I thought. Today, I learned that it’s not my gift…it’s my pride. No wonder I don’t see things like a child. Rather than looking at the fullness that life has to offer, I choose to focus on the improvements that life could bring. Where’s the joy in that?

I want, nothing more, than move beyond the criticism and into the fullness of joy. It just seems more fun.

What about you?