So when I started my blog, I didn’t really think much about it…what it would mean, what it would say, who would follow it, if people would follow it. All I knew is that it was an outlet for me to talk about things that are on my mind. Well, thank you to all who have encouraged me to do this. Your comments and feedback are valuable to me. And on to my next blog…

It's a great day. Hailey Smith is chowin' down on some birthday cake. Happy one-year birthday Hailey.

This past weekend, myself and 211 men gathered for one reason: to encounter God. Now that I’ve let a couple of days pass, I stand in greater awe of God’s massive love for us. Moreover, I have a greater disdain and clarity on satan’s plan and strategies. To say that he moves around, seeking whom he may devour is exactly his intentions. Throughout the weekend we all watched as lie after lie was exposed, attack after attack spoiled and plan after plan halted in it’s process. We stood united. We stood for each other. We stood for nothing less than God’s fullness. We stood to be free and we stood, strong and tall, to be accounted for. Our heads held high. Our identity, calling and destiny clear.

Personally, I experienced something new for me. I’ve always felt and at times said, that there was an apostalic call on/in me. This weekend, I realized that it is no longer a feeling, it is what I am here for. I can’t even begin to explain the joy and delight that I received from watching six men that I care deeply about (Josh, Cameron, Ryan, Tyler, Shawn and Won) go after God with everything they had in them.

I’ll never forget Tyler raising his hands and shaking his fists at God as if no matter what, he’s standing for battle–Take that God. He’s yours and there’s nothing that’s gonna stop him.

I’ll never forget Josh’s comment about this weekend: (paraphrased) “I decided that I’m going to be serious about this weekend and be obedient to whatever God asks me to do.”–If only we all would approach our time with Him with this attitude!

I’ll never forget Ryan’s heart of compassion and deep committment to being all that He has for him–even if he doesn’t know what it is right now.–Faith is defined as ” Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.” Sometimes the first step is the hardest.

I’ll never forget Won’s confession of renewed faith and passion.–Sometimes its necessary to be raw and adventurous in the faith. It always works out for His good!

I’ll never forget Cameron’s smile on his face when he looked back and saw Won, Josh, Tyler and Shawn on their faces before God.–That was pure joy!

I’ll never forget Shawn’s conversion from fear to love. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…” (1 John 4:18) The fight is fixed and you win Shawn.

In my own experience, I’ll never forget the revelation that my insecurities about myself are only lies of the enemy. And if I will deal with them, I will be able to hold my head high, stand tall, and look in the mirror every morning with confidence and strength. There is only one me, Kyle Chowning. I should stop trying being other people and focus on maximizing who God has called me to be.

To the Chowning cell…be alert and watch out. God is taking us to a new level. The battles are already won. All we have to do is claim it and WALK in faith that He has so much more for us than we could ever imagine. It is our full intentions to live in Him fully. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 –

Welcome to the journey. It won’t be easy, but it’s going to be good.

After writing here for a week, I’m starting to realize why people do this thing they call “blog.” For some reason, I never thought of it the way I do now. I suppose it’s like Nascar. I didn’t think it was all that great until I watched, listened and tried it myself. Once I made the effort, I was able to grasp the enthusiasm as my own and started adjusting my schedule around “the race.”

Anyway, here’s what I’ve realized. This, a blog, is the very essence that the show Cheers was built on. This is where I can go that everybody knows my name and if you don’t like what I have to say, it’s okay. Why is that a good thing? Sometimes you just need a place to talk about nothing, go as deep or as shallow as you’d like and not be concerned about your presentation. This, my friends, is my work in progress and I’m finding a little more freedom in it than I thought I would. Now my only problem is, it seems that I could write forever.

This weekend is our churches men’s retreat. We call them Encouters for more obvious reasons. By the way, 212 men going after God for 48 hours. Seriously! Don’t you think that God has big plans for a bunch of hungry men? I do. — So, in preparation for this event, I felt like I needed to fast for my guys. I don’t know why or what for, but I have high expectations and hopes that each of them will experience something they never have before. That kind of encounter with God doesn’t come casually…only by sacrifice, obedience and humility before Him. In thinking about how long to fast, I asked the Lord to reveal an amount of time. 1, 2, or even 3 days, I didn’t care, I just wanted it to be His time. While driving to work today, I was listening to some passages in 1 Kings 19 (there’s that wonderful Bible on CD workin’ it for me again), and there was a part in there about “a day of fasting.” I guess I wasn’t quite paying attention until I stepped out of my truck and it hit me, I am to have my own “day of fasting.” So Friday is a big day…big expectations…big hopes and large victories. I’m looking forward to the weekend.

By the way, when God says that reading the Word will renew your mind, He really isn’t kidding around with that. It seems that for the past week, all I’ve done is played catchup on my Bible reading and as a result, I’m seeing things differently, my perspective is changing and my passion is rising.

Random thought of the day: I’m only 29. I wonder what God has in store for my 30’s?

This is a great shot out of the plane oon the way home from Texas. I LOVE camera phones.

We had The Living Room tonight. As always, God was there in full force. I have the priviledge of playing acoustic guitar…something that I’m no expert in but certainly enjoy. Thanks Rob for helping me get back into this music thing. Your grace and encouragement run deep.

Did you know that blogger can receive your cell phone pictures in your blog? You can post to your own blog from your phone! Check this out. Be looking for new posts from my phone.

Had a great time in Texas this past week. It was good to see my family and spend some time with my new nephew. Truth be told, he didn’t warm up to me until the last day. I’m not sure why but it seemed that once I stopped trying so hard, things naturally progressed. Funny how that works.

My sister is staring at surgery again. This time they think they can get the brain tumor out completely. Amazing. I pray everyday that this would just go away. God is jehovah raphe right! Sometimes this whole thing is a bit surreal to me. It just doesn’t seem like this is supposed to happen to me and my family. I guess that’s my young naive self realizing that I’m not that naive anymore.

I’m off to bed. Early morning and now a late night. Good night!

I can’t figure what to name this post, so it’s “untitled.”

A range of emotions and feelings today. One that I’m fighting the hardest is that of inadequacy…simply realizing that I rely upon myself, my own wisdom, my own ways….which incidentally God declares foolish…way too much. Although I know there is a lot of grace for the journey, but I can’t help but wonder how I can become less so He can be more. Do you know I mean? It’s funny, I fight my flesh SO much on the idea of obedience.

I actually fight thoughts that I could be TOO spiritual…like somehow being all that God has called me to be would make me have less fun in life. Or that I may have to give up things that feed my flesh for something less fulfilling. Or that if I pursued too hard or too much, I might actually realize that there is more to my calling than what currently meets the eye. What would that look like? Honestly…it FREAKS me out. I think that I’ve held this idea of my eventual destiny at a place that allows me to peak but not actually look at what it could be. If so, Lord forgive me. All of these hesitations are simply disobedience to what you have for me.

John 15:5 says that “If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” This pretty much sums it all up. What am I waiting for? How could I want anything less? Honestly, I don’t think I do…I just am chisling away at old habits of half-hearted devotion to the great I AM.

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You know what really has my attention right now? Check this out…

Matthew 28:18-20 (The Message)
“18 Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: “God authorized and commanded me to commission you: 19Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 20Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.”

Now let me set this up. I constantly hear people gripe and complain about what the church IS NOT doing for them. It comes in all shapes and sizes…from complaints about the Pastor, music, teaching or lack thereof, and so on. However, consider this…

verse 18…God authorized and commanded Jesus to commission you (Christians) to go out and train (defined as teaching a particular skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time) everyone you meet in the ways of God. Then when they’ve been trained, instruct (defined as give a personal direction, information, or authorization) in the ways that we’ve been tought. — If this is God’s commission to us, what are we doing with it? Are we discipling people? Are we taking this seriously?

Logically you can conclude that I am disobedient to God’s commission if I am not participating in some form of discipleship. Obviously there is grace for our circumstances, but then again, don’t we often disguise grace with laziness? I do. It’s easy to call on grace when I simply don’t want to…

Today is a significant day. After months of diligent prayer, one of the guys in my cell group decided that his life was meant to be lived out for God’s purposes. In short, he commited his life to Christ right there in the Chipotle parking lot, right after lunch. I mean really! Does it get any better than that? God is faithful if we are obedient. Thank you Lord for allowing a handful of guys to be part of the puzzle that brought Josh to you. We are humbled and thankful to be used in such a glorious way. Josh, enjoy the journey. It won’t be easy and it won’t always make sense, but I promise that it’ll be the greatest adventure you’ll ever take. Embrace Him for he will never leave nor forsake you.

On a completely separate note…I absolutely LOVE the Bible on CD. Like I’ve mentioned before, I’m a bit behind on my reading and being able to listen to the Word to and from work is helping me get caught up in a major way.

Tomorrow is a short day at work then I head out to spend some much needed time with my family. It’s been too long since we’ve all been together. Mostly, I’m excited to spend some time with my nephew. I haven’t seen him in about 15 months. What’s sad is that he won’t even recognize me. I guess I’ll have to make this introduction one to remember. I’m also excited about seeing my sister. Last time I saw her she was in a hospital shortly after her brain surgery. Although that’s a topic all in itself, it’ll be good to be brother and sister again. I miss her. She doesn’t know this but I think she’s pretty funny. Plus, I’m DANG proud of her. She’s choosen to be optimistic in light of her tumor. Only God knows what the future holds but like His word says, let’s not worry about tomorrow for it will take care of itself. And as always, being spoiled and having fun with the parents is memorable. You can always leave it to dad to make the most fun out of spending 4 days at the house in the middle of East Texas. You can bet there will be lots of card playing, food and time at the pool. Maybe I’ll get caught up on a few books this weekend!

I’m growing to take my cell group seriously…very seriously. When you realize that God has placed men in your life to guide, teach and mentor to the best of your ability, you can also conclude that the opposite would be that I misdirect, bore and forsake them. Even worse yet, that my half-hearted attempt to lead would end in compromised possibilities and a half-full delivery of something God intended to be FULLY realized. Who wants that. Again, who wants to be weighed and found wanting? Not me. Definitely not me.

Part of my journey, this year, is to read through the entire Bible in 12 months. Talk about the ultimate declaration of your obedience. If you miss one day, it’s not like you can just skip it. The entire process builds off the previous days readings. —But what if my spiritual walk parralleled my daily reading? I mean, what if today God had something for me that required yesterday’s revelation. And tomorrows, todays, and so on. Do i really expect that He would work that way. Not usually. I think deep down I believe that He has major strategic moments where he pounces in, drops a bomb and leaves me to figure it out. Some call that shock and awe. Some refer to it as blowing in, blowing up and blowing out. But doesn’t that give you the impression that He’s not paying attention and a bit careless about the details? It does me…so how can I believe it? Good question. I don’t know why either.

I’ve longed prayed that God would be in my details. That I wouldn’t pray to him in the mornings, forget about him during the day and reconnect that evening. Seems easy to do when distracted by other objects of my affection…work…friendships…TV…internet…money…all things that we are instructed to lay aside in our pursuit of Him. But I’m thankful. Thankful that I have friends, a good job, resources, wife and eventual family…all the things that i’ve identified as being part of my “hearts desire.”
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I must declare that I am so proud of my wife. She has pursued her lifes dream of becoming a Nurse Practioner and SHE’S DOING IT!!! — Baby, the pride that I have in who God has made you to be runs deeper than anything you or I can understand or verbalize. I’m so proud of how you’ve stopped at nothing to be what God has called you to be so you can be WHO you are to be. What that looks like, who knows, but i can tell you that you are one step closer to seeing your destiny unveiled before your eyes. Stay strong. Stay the course. I love you and am right beside you the whole way!

Tonight, I start a journey. Not unlike any other that I’ve embarked upon. In fact, it’s familiar to me…maybe too familiar. It starts with a deep desire to do what seems to be right—at least to me. To the rest of the world it may look familiar or odd. Regardless, it’s where one starts when you’re okay with pursuing what you perceive, hope and have faith for. If you’re wondering what I’m looking for or what I hope to achieve, I am too. My faith is full, my intentions are good, and if all goes well, so will be my execution. So where do I think my journey is taking me? It all has to do with obedience.

Obedience defined is “the act of obeying; dutiful or submissive behavior with respect to another person; the trait of being willing to obey.” Interesting. I hadn’t noticed this before now. Obedience requires a willingness to obey. The willingness would suggest that it requires the interaction between two people, or as the definition expresses, respect of another person. So I suppose that this isn’t about me being obedient for the sake of obedience. This process is about my willingness to submit my behavior to another.

As I grow older, I’ve noticed that my behavior has slipped into a pattern of following my desires…often prompted by padding my own comfort zone or personal preferences. It could be about how I’m going to: plan my day, spend my time, eat right OR wrong, exercise or not, flip the channel…or not, the list could go on. However, I’m turning 30 in just a few months.

It seems that the idea of doing what I want is becoming more and more ridiculous as it relates to God’s plan and purposes in my life. Overall, I’ve lived a good portion of my life in 80% obedience. And at most times, I thought that was good enough. Haven’t we all? I think that we all can point back to a moment, even today, that we decided to do what we wanted rather than what we knew we should do. Where do we get the balls to do that? How have I/we been so convinced in our own ways that there are no consequences for our wrongful and disobedient actions? Do we think we are above the Word that declares that we will reap what we sow. Maybe. Just maybe we’ve lost sight of something. I find that in these times, my faith and expectation are at a low point. I see God. He’s all around, but am I really expecting Him to do something in my life? Do I dare have faith for that?

So the question remains: Do I dare have faith for that? For what? Something. Something I can’t see but can only believe in. Honestly, that thought perplexes me but what else do I have? I’m at a place in life where my basic needs are met and I don’t need to worry about tomorrow. God has already provided. But what I do worry about, is what will happen tomorrow if I am not obedient today. So now we’re back to obedience.

In Daniel 5:7, Daniel talks about being “weighed in the balance, and found wanting.” The Message states it a little more simply: “You’ve been weighed in the scales and you don’t weigh much.” Who wants that report? I don’t. And so you have found the purose and passion behind my journey.

My hope and prayer is that for the next 30 days, this is a daily occurence for me. I want to establish a discipline of writing my thoughts down in a way that expresses what often times can’t be verbalized. I believe that God has a plan for me larger than anything I could ever imagine. I’m at the beginning of my journey. I hope you find yours along the way.

PRAYER:
Lord, Your ways are mysterious and often times hidden from me. you know that I am eager to know the plans that you have for me. Often times I want to rush and get ahead which leads to more frustrations than peace. So today i ask for your forgiveness and plead that you meet me here, right now, in a fresh and mysterious way. I’m asking that you pour out something in and through me that even I don’t recognize. I don’t want new wine in an old wineskin. I ask for the new. — I pray that you would give me the discipline and the strength to commit to my process…through victories and set backs, I pray that my faith and hopes would remain high and focused on what you can do through me, not what I can do on my own. Father, forgive me for my pride. Forgive me for my arrogance to think that my ways are better than yours. I only want what’s best and I rest in knowing that it’s FULLY you. — Give me the strength to know what I believe, stand on what I know and live fully alive in you. I want to be your friend. I want to know you closer than a brother.
Forever yours–me.