it’s day three of motiv new media. things are going well. Everyday, I’m surprised at what comes my way. You’d think that it would be a specific type of client but it’s not. From labels, to marketing companies, to heating and cooling, to doctors offices, to who knows what’s next. I’m just surprised at what God is bringing my way…and it’s only day three.

In talking to a friend about walking through my last week at RELEVANT, i wrote this:

It’s weird and very exciting all at the same time. Honestly, God has dropped a lot into my head lately so I spend a lot of my off-time thinking about what could be. At times, that’s fun but can be equally frustrating. It’s weird when I hear myself talk about starting a small ad agency but quickly following that up with a comment/dream of starting a nonprofit too. Everything seems to be available for consideration. I’ve never dreamed like this before. It is exhilarating in a lot of ways but overwhelming too. Where do you start? What will it look like? What does God really have for my future? Am I thinking big enough; or too small; am I even on the right path? Everything is up for grabs and the details still remain unclear.

But.

I know that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Why? Because it keeps me relying on Him. It keeps me focused on His dreams, not my own. And its all overwhelming and a bit out of control.

I’ve heard it once said that if you’re feet are on the ground and everything seems easy, then you’re not living God’s best. If that’s true, then I’m definitely walking down the right path.

So that’s it. That’s where I’m at.

It’s been a couple of months since my last post and oh my, how things have changed. Here’s a quick run-down of all that’s happened this past couple of months:

• Got pregnant. Lost the baby, again. Exploring our options and recouping from the emotional trauma of the disappointment and stress. It sucks.

• On May 31, Kristy and I took a leap of faith; I resigned from my position at RELEVANT. My last day there is Friday, June 30.

• On July 1, Motiv New Media becomes a reality. Whether its a long-term project or a short-term gain, it is the vehicle through which I will bring revenue to my family. Check out www.motivnewmedia.com around mid-July for more information. If you need someone to help you take your online ventures to another level, contact me.

• Today I spoke with a label in Nashville about a position. Nothing is sacred. Everything is up for consideration.

• Yesterday I shaved my goatee but kept a mustache. Kristy didn’t like it. It’s gone today.

• I’m selling my truck. Want to buy an 2002 F150 Supercrew? Buy mine. As a result, I’m getting a 1998 Dodge Dakota extra cab truck at a steal (thanks mom and dad). New paint, new tires, new rims and black. Really, does it get any better.

• Yesterday I got my new toy.

• Kristy and I head to Nashville this weekend for a wedding.

• I’ve started another blog: www.makeitright.info. It’s basically my journal to understand social justice and fair trade issues. This is a growing area of interest lately and quite frankly, something I feel responsible about. Watch out world. Something is rising.

The past six to eight months have been nothing but a process for me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to share that here. But as time goes on, I hope to begin to unpack it piece by piece. In no way am I at the end of my journey. In fact, I’m still at the very beginning. I’m learning about dreams; giants; faith; trust; hope; sacrifice; disappointments; friendship; intimacy; relationships; and the list goes on. Thanks to each of you for being a part of all this. Maybe some day we’ll look back and so, “Oh! That’s what that was all about.” That would make me smile.

Today my wife came home from a short trip to San Francisco. I was happy that she was able to go and explore a new part of the country. I wish I could have been there.

Welcome home baby. After 6 days without seeing you, you are a welcome sight to a lonely husband. I love you.

This week I spent a few days in Nashville, TN at the 2006 GMA (Gospel Music Association) week. Part of that is meeting with old and new friends. Part of that is stumbling upon new bands that have potential. I found one such band. Leeland. The live show was great. The CD doesn’t give you any indication of such a powerful inperson presence. However, I believe them to be a band to keep your eye on.

Myspace.com/leelandmusic

My friends over at TripleXChurch recently tried to buy Bibles through the American Bible Society to give out to attendees at three upcoming porn shows. Ya know…the kind of people who could really use a Bible. Since the Bible was customized with their own cover art, once ABS saw that it said “Jesus Loves Porn Stars” they refused, i repeat, REFUSED to fulfill the order. I’m speachless and can’t even believe this to be true. But it is. Check out the breaking story here.

Tonight at cell group we talked about being of service those who are around us. Quite literally, to be ready to do whatever and whenever God has called us to step into his will. A couple of things that were said that are sticking with me afterwards that I’d like to remember:

1. God is not solely concerned about the end result, He’s concerned about the process to which we’ve gotten there. As a result, He put’s opportunities in front of us that will always stretch our boundaries, because growth requires stretching. If it’s easy, then it’s not growth.

2. Often times we assume before we engage therefore arrive at an “automatic” judgement regarding people and their situations. Don’t fool yourself. That’s pride and God will resist it.

3. If we can’t learn to empathize and sympathize with people, we will lose the art of caring. If you can’t put yourself in their shoes, you will never learn compassion.

4. Everybody wants to be heard and understood. it’s a basic need of human kind. If we are unwilling to listen, sympathize and empathize with people, what is our motivation for friendship?

5. Money is at the core of every mans desire. We want to provide. We want to have more. However, it’s our motivation that determines if we serve money or God.

6. Live life ready to go, but willing to stay. Hold nothing too tightly. You never know what God may require of you.

7. Trust is at the core of everything God requires us to do. If we are being prompted to do something, will we trust His leading or dismiss it as inopportune or inconvenient and walk away?

8. “Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk of trusting God. Fear of the unknown path stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the Father’s active goodness and unrestricted love.” (Ruthless Trust, pg. 6)

A couple of weeks ago, I heard something and was stirred. The idea was simple and the “call” seemed obvious, but I just knew that I had to obey. It was time to lay down my flesh and fast. You see, I didn’t care or know if my intentions lined up with the holiest of reasons, but what I did know is this. I heard a story of two guys name Rob and JR who responded to a call to fast. Their motives weren’t 100% pure. Their understanding of what God was going to do was limited in scope. But I couldn’t get away from the story of their experience. It goes a little something like this:

God called Rob & JR on a 40 day fast of water and juice only. They knew that God would bless them, but what they really experienced was something that would change their lives and families forever. At the end of the 40 days, they mourned the ending of their fast. Yes they wanted to eat, but they were sad and upset because they were leaving such a peaceful and restful experience. It was hard leaving something they had come to know so initmately. During their fast they watched their family be challenged by God himself; they watched their study of the Bible take on necessity; they watched their families being influenced by the actions so much that conversations about faith were daily; they asked their friends ask questions about Jesus they never thought they would ask; they watched God heal JR’s relationship with his father; they watched their client base in the business grow; they watched as the Holy Spirit gave them words and power they never had; they watched their wives grow in their faith; they watched their kids grow in their faith. Fasting is now a part of their lives. In 2005 Rob fasted a total of 105 days and JR did 80. Bottom line, fasting created the vehicle to which they gave their life completely to God. Fasting reassured them of the power and grace in their life. They don’t ignore Him anymore. they follow Him. (Excerpted from the audio of “The Unignorable Calling” - By Craig Gross)

Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God. (Romans 10:17)

My faith was/is stirred and I could no longer doubt the power of the fast. I had to do it. If I could walk away from a seven day fast and get a glimpse of what these guys experienced, I just knew that my life would be changed forever. From February 24 through March 1, I fasted.

During my fast, something happened. My focus changed from seeking His hand to longing to know His face. I no longer care about the things of this world, I just want to know Him more. I suddenly knew that if I only knew Him…what He cared about…what He wanted from me…what matters to Him, then the thoughts and plans that I have would be clearly directed by His steps. It simply didn’t matter any more. I just wanted Him. I saw my worship change…I couldn’t simply sing the songs, I felt the words of what I sang so deeply that I weeped when I sang them…often times having to stop singing altogether because I felt it so deeply; I saw my intimacy deepen; I saw my understanding increase; I saw my peace settle the wars inside me; I saw Him in everything. My revelations of Him and His words are more frequent. I’m alive on the inside and I don’t care what’s happening around me. But the most significant was a fundamental shift in my understanding of trust (more on that later).

I told Kristy that if this is what God could do after seven days, I’ve got to know what 40 days feels like. I have to. I absolutely have to. I will fast for 40 days…soon.

Now that I have this experience, it seems only reasonable to challege others to the same. Feeling dry? detached? Rejected? Hurt? Wandering? Worried? Scared and afraid? Pride? Rebellious? Doubtful? Unbelieving? Hopeless? —then fast. Why not? What could your life be like if you experienced just a slice of what Rob and JR did? What would happen if I, you, gave your life completely to God? If we didn’t ignore Him anymore? If we simply followed Him?

I don’t know either, but I saw we find out.

Here’s a shout-out to my friend and coworker, Cara Davis and the release of her new book, Cheap Ways To Tie the Knot. It’s a great and useful book. You should buy it here and read her blog here.