I DIDN’T PASS OUT!

I’m such a man.

I don’t often rant about things in the news, but I find myself so frustrated by some recent developments that I feel like I need to exercise some opinion here.

Cindy Sheehan

First of all, I don’t fault the lady for wanting to be heard and for doing everything she can to make her case known. However, the problem that I have is what the media has made her out to be.

Tonight I googled “Cindy Sheehan” and it came up with 3,090,000 websites that include her name and she’s on the front page of several major news websites. The average citizen (which is what she is) would be lucky to have 10 google results. But because of the media darling that she’s become, EVERYBODY seems to be writing about her. And now, we’re following her to LA. Why? In recent days, she’s began exploiting her mass media open mic by openly stating her opinions about foreign policy and other non-war related items. What’s amusing to me is that the media is using her and she is using them. it’s seems to be some kind of sick mutually beneficial relationship. COME ON! What makes them think that there aren’t other things in this world to report on beyond showing footage of Cindy on her way to LA?

I guess the reality is, I’ve seen what the media can do to an entire country and it makes me frustrated every time I see the machine in use. For example…

On September 11, 2001, myself and 17 other American’s were on the mission field in Nairobi, Kenya. Shortly after our arrival back to our guesthouse, we got word that an attack of some sort had just happened. Given that we were 8 hours ahead, we watched the whole thing unfold on an international CNN feed. While there was some initial fear and worry about our safety and mission, we felt like we needed to press on and fulfill our call to be there. After all, it wasn’t coincidence to God.

We didn’t have access to all of the media/news/wires that we have here in the states. We basically had to rely on Kenyan news sources, which included both fact and amateurish opinion pieces, and some infrequent television opportunities. Through these means we were able to distinguish the facts from the opinions and were able to stay up on the latest developments and outcomes. My point, we were informed.

Upon arrival back to the states approximately 8 days later, we learned that the people were seeing it very differently. The fear, pride, confusion, anger, frustration, disgust, hate, love, and a plethora of persistent emotions were thick and well oiled. My only conclusion was that the constant bombardment by the media about every detail known and not known had reved the engine of the collective emotions of millions of Americans and left them with a false sense of needing more. Please keep in mind that we were not devoid of the same emotions but because we weren’t being constantly fed…like a fire being stoked every hour…the burden of the events was lighter. In all, I was shocked at how the media had successfully captured the heart of an entire nation. Yes, it was tragedy. Yes, it was horrible. No, I’m not discounting peoples feelings. My point is, the media has power and a lot of it. I discovered that people had become paralyzed because of what they were constantly reading, hearing and seeing. It was almost like everybody was being overstimulated by what was happening and we had become addicted to the latest. It was comparable to staying up with the Jones’. If you didn’t know the latest, you were somehow odd and lacked social responsibility. So why do I bring back these memories? To prove my point.

Just like the media controlled our emotions, feelings and reactions to the events of 9/11, I fear that they have walked the same line with Cindy. In reality, there are many other mothers out there with stories that are much more horrific than hers. However, the media wants us to care about Cindy Sheehan. Why else would they tell, show and continue to report to us the condition of her mother in LA? Why do we need to know that? We don’t. But if the media can get us hooked into the story behind Cindy, then maybe we’ll stand for her too. So maybe Cindy represents the voice of the media. Maybe she’s the voice of CBS, NBC, ABC and CNN. Maybe she’s saying what they can’t say. Bring them home. Impeach the President. Be anti-Israel. Perhaps a recent article in Slate magazine says it best: “So, we must now say that, as well as being a vulgar producer of her own spectacle, and an embarrassment to her family, Cindy Sheehan is at best a shifty fantasist.”

So you choose. Choose how much of the media you soak in. How much you filter. How you read between the lines. Yet maybe we should choose to turn it off and read a good book.

NO! Giving blood. That’s what I’ll be doing in exactly 9 hours. Yeah fun. Last time I passed out. So you can imagine my excitement. Some people pass out for fun. Not me. It makes me sticky. Irritable. Hot. And quite frankly, feeling a bit strange.

So tonight, I find myself searching for some hope…something that I can do to curtail this issue of mine. It was nice to hear that 1 out of 20 people giving blood faint. So I’m obviously not alone but definitely in the minority.

So if you’re there and you care, throw up a prayer for a 6′3″ guy. I’M NOT GOING TO PASS OUT!

It’s 1:06am. I went to bed at 11 something. For some reason I can’t sleep. I’d really like to, but it’s not happening.

What’s on my mind?

A little work - i had a great idea sittin’ in bed but now i can’t remember. Wait…something about creating custom/standard postcards for our RLV Network subscribers to use…placing RLV on one side and their info on the other. Could be cool. What about ringtones? More podcasts. More, more, more….sleep?

A little praying–to get pregnant, my wife, a new guitar, a better voice, for my parents, my sister’s healing, wisdom, grace, understanding, increase in spiritual gifts (especially the prophetic), more discipline, a couple guys in my cell..

Actually, I know what’s on my mind…kids. As time passes and Kristy and I haven’t gotten pregnant, my sensitivity to the issue is increasing. I’m also becoming more aware of people’s ignorance and insensitivity to what people (we) might be going through. On one hand you have someone trying to convince you that after 6 years you should be having kids…if they only knew and if I only thought that they cared enough to know the full story. Then on the other, you have people who immediately get it…they understand what “trying” means. Unfotunately, most people, admittidly myself as well before now, assume that this process is quick and simple. That complications and delays are NOT the norm. However, that just isn’t the case.

Ironically, we never wanted to be a couple who declared that we are “trying.” Now, it seems that all we have is prayer and yet another “try.”

Over the past year there have been 2-3 people who have prophetically spoken over us that we’ll be pregnant by the end of the year. Now, this brings up several emotions: the first is excitment…it’s actually going to happen, right!?! The second, honestly, fear. What if it doesn’t. what does that mean? How do we take it? The reality is, I don’t know. (insert cliches here)

I was driving home today thinking about the number of people we have in our lives who are pregnant or already have kids. I began to pray and think about my hearts desire. Surely God wants to give us kids. It’s even Biblical. And He even states that He wants to give us the desires of our heart. Guess what God. I desire my own! My legalistic, self-centered, works mentality which often drives me begins to drift–heck drop into overdrive–into thinking that I must do something to help this. Funny thing is, we are already doing what we should be doing. That’snot hard to figure out. But then i think of fasting or praying more, or…? But all of these rely on me. So I guess I’m out of options.

God. Sometimes I get frustrated and upset when I see my wife curl up in my arms with tears in her eyes because of her anguish over all of this. I realize that this is our trial and that you’re building a testimony for some reason, but I plead…even beg, that you will give us the desire of our heart. One child. It’s all we ask.

Random things…

• I’m caught up on my Bible reading! Woohoo. Now I just need to stay ahead.
• Rob & Vangie just bought a new house….congrats you guys.
• Tomorrow is pay day
• Jeff & Elizabeth just found their church. That’s HUGE! Congrats again you two.
• The new issue of RELEVANT is freakin’ amazing.
• At Moes today, I had a whole cup of fruit punch spilled on my legs and feet. That was chilling.
• Kristy and I plan on being out of debt (with the exception of the house) in a year
• Not pregnant yet (but still working on it ;-))
• RELEVANTmagazine.com (redesigned) is online…it only took 8 months. • The new Lincoln Brewster worship album is AMAZING. You must get it here
• I honked my horn at two drivers this weekend—I NEVER do that. What’s wrong with me.
• The sand at the beach on Saturday was burning hot. Seriously.
• We had to drop $1k on our car today. That was fun. Right? Someone please tell me.

What’s @random for you?

I was tagged by Maya Strang for this “5? meme - But I’m gonna rock it GUY style!

5 cars I love, but can’t have:
2005 Shelby Mustang
Bentley
Lamborghini
Mercedes CLK
1930’s Ford Pickup (restored of course)

5 Movies You’ve Seen Recently:
Open Water
Constantine
In Good Company
Pacifier
Paparrazi

2 movies I wish I hadn’t seen:
Pacifier
Open Water

5 Nice Things That Happened To You Lately : (In the last week)
My wife brought me a blanket when I was cold
Tyler & Madeline took Kristy and I out for a nice dinner
Rob gave me a nice compliment
My mom sent me an email saying that she missed me
The sales manager from the dealer that I bought my truck gave me free floormats

5 CD’s I recently bought:
Ella Fitzgerald: The Best of the Songbooks
Kelly Clarkson: Breakaway (Yeah, you read that right!)
Michael Buble: Come Fly With Me
Jack Johnson: In Between Dreams
Seal: Seal

And finally, 5 reasons I love my wife:
She’s georgeous both in and out
She’s compassionate and thoughtful
She loves adventure and getting away
She wants to have MY kids
She’s virtuous, loving, caring, insightful, prophetic, courageous, DANG smart, funny, came with a GREAT family, love to cuddle, isn’t afraid of the future, dares to confront, stands for righteousness, prays hard…really hard, loves my family, loves me unconditionally….

DANG! She looks good!

I tag Jeff Jackson.

Friday night was fun. Kristy and I headed out to Cocoa Beach, FL to stay the night at a hotel there. the reason? Saturday morning at 9:30am we experienced our first beach wedding. When I heard about this wedding, I didn’t know why they were doing it at 9:30, but now I do. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HOT IT IS IN AUGUST ON THE BEACH? The sand was blazing hot, but so was the wedding. Hot like, “cool” hot. It was a fantastic wedding. Probably the fastest I’ve ever been to. 15 minutes and we were done. We had breakfast at the reception and cake to-boot. Can it get any better? Really!

Here’s a picture for your enjoyment. Congratulations Randy & Vieve! You two are beautiful.

Oh, and Kristy and I we’re all dressed up Florida style. Here’s a picture of us on the beach.

The rest of Saturday we spent on the beach playing in the water and gettin’ some sun. Can you say raccoon eyes? Yeah. But they’re gone now.

Sunday, Kristy ended up with a migrane on the way to church so we chilled at the house most of the day. Wow. A chill-day makes for a relaxing time. But what did I do most of the day? Work. Yeah…for some odd reason, I actually enjoy/prefer staying caught up on things at work if I can. I don’t often work on the weekends, or at night anymore, but sometimes it feels good to get caught up a little. It’s like Kristy’s grandpa says, getting caught up on email “is like peeing in a black pair of pants. Nobody will ever notice but MAN it sure feels good!” — Where does he come up with those thoughts anyways?

Our cell group is about to launch a six-week series on finances. For some reason, I’m really excited about this series? Why? I think that somewhere in the back of my mind, I actually think that because of this, at least one marriage will go smoother, become closer and might even save a couple or two from pending disasters. If money is the heart of most couples problems, it seems that the best thing to do is hit it head-on and that’s what we’re going to do. We’re all going to get out of debt!

Well, this will do it for now. I’m off to bed. Thanks for reading, whoever you are.

So when I started my blog, I didn’t really think much about it…what it would mean, what it would say, who would follow it, if people would follow it. All I knew is that it was an outlet for me to talk about things that are on my mind. Well, thank you to all who have encouraged me to do this. Your comments and feedback are valuable to me. And on to my next blog…

It's a great day. Hailey Smith is chowin' down on some birthday cake. Happy one-year birthday Hailey.

This past weekend, myself and 211 men gathered for one reason: to encounter God. Now that I’ve let a couple of days pass, I stand in greater awe of God’s massive love for us. Moreover, I have a greater disdain and clarity on satan’s plan and strategies. To say that he moves around, seeking whom he may devour is exactly his intentions. Throughout the weekend we all watched as lie after lie was exposed, attack after attack spoiled and plan after plan halted in it’s process. We stood united. We stood for each other. We stood for nothing less than God’s fullness. We stood to be free and we stood, strong and tall, to be accounted for. Our heads held high. Our identity, calling and destiny clear.

Personally, I experienced something new for me. I’ve always felt and at times said, that there was an apostalic call on/in me. This weekend, I realized that it is no longer a feeling, it is what I am here for. I can’t even begin to explain the joy and delight that I received from watching six men that I care deeply about (Josh, Cameron, Ryan, Tyler, Shawn and Won) go after God with everything they had in them.

I’ll never forget Tyler raising his hands and shaking his fists at God as if no matter what, he’s standing for battle–Take that God. He’s yours and there’s nothing that’s gonna stop him.

I’ll never forget Josh’s comment about this weekend: (paraphrased) “I decided that I’m going to be serious about this weekend and be obedient to whatever God asks me to do.”–If only we all would approach our time with Him with this attitude!

I’ll never forget Ryan’s heart of compassion and deep committment to being all that He has for him–even if he doesn’t know what it is right now.–Faith is defined as ” Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.” Sometimes the first step is the hardest.

I’ll never forget Won’s confession of renewed faith and passion.–Sometimes its necessary to be raw and adventurous in the faith. It always works out for His good!

I’ll never forget Cameron’s smile on his face when he looked back and saw Won, Josh, Tyler and Shawn on their faces before God.–That was pure joy!

I’ll never forget Shawn’s conversion from fear to love. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…” (1 John 4:18) The fight is fixed and you win Shawn.

In my own experience, I’ll never forget the revelation that my insecurities about myself are only lies of the enemy. And if I will deal with them, I will be able to hold my head high, stand tall, and look in the mirror every morning with confidence and strength. There is only one me, Kyle Chowning. I should stop trying being other people and focus on maximizing who God has called me to be.

To the Chowning cell…be alert and watch out. God is taking us to a new level. The battles are already won. All we have to do is claim it and WALK in faith that He has so much more for us than we could ever imagine. It is our full intentions to live in Him fully. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 –

Welcome to the journey. It won’t be easy, but it’s going to be good.