Are you Talking or Communicating?

“I love your shirt!” she complimented.

“Oh thank you. I got it at Target for $9.” she replied.

Have you ever wondered why girls feel the need to share the details of their “find”? I do too, so I asked.

Recently I was at work, and the office at ROOTS Academy had 5 or 6 girls engaged in this same conversation. I interrupted their brag session to see if I could find what was really being communicated when a girl responds with the where and how much she paid for her find. Here’s what I discovered:

One Side: To some, it was an effort to reveal that the purchase accessible and affordable (Target and only $9).

The Other Side: To others, it was about the exclusivity of the find. In fact, you’ll never be able to replicate or copy it (Goodwill, only $2)

It was fascinating to sit and watch both sides of this conversation unfold. Each side truthfully thought the other was thinking from their perspective, when each couldn’t imagine thinking how the other thought. Then I got to thinking about the power of communication and more importantly, the power of interpretation.

The words we say only represent a small fraction of what’s actually being said. 

Said another way, you can talk all you want, but what you’re communicating may be different from what you’re saying. Despite your best intentions, you can’t control how people interpret your words. This is the beauty and the struggle of communication.

Your efforts aren’t best spent in trying to get everyone to see your perspective, but to help them see your point of view from their perspective. 

World renowned motivational speaker, Tony Robbins says it best:

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” —Tony Robbins

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  • Sheu

    I can see what you mean. I can be quite talkative but sometimes, I just enjoy listening instead. People say a lot of things but if you actually pay attention to their intonation and the way they project themselves in words, you can actually learn more about the person just by their conversation alone.