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In limbo…

July 19, 2010 By 2 Comments
Towing the Mustang

And no, this isn’t about the movie Inception—although it could be if this next post is really about a dream.

It’s official. I’m a Charlottean.

This past Saturday, I arrived in the Queen City after a beautiful drive over the Smokey Mountains from Nashville. As you can see, I had my first car in tow. It’s a 1968 Mustang Fastback that I’m proud to say has been a family car since it came off the lot. My grandfather bought it (I have the original sales invoice for it still), my parents dated in it and I’ve had it since 1991. But I digress.

The plan was to arrive in Charlotte and unload our new house while Kristy and the kids drove over from Nashville to arrive to a half-way unpacked house.

As of today, Monday, I’m staying in a hotel in Charlotte and my wife and kids are in Nashville waiting for me to call with good news.

We’re in limbo…

To be honest, I am not genetically created to like out-of-my-control situations (just being honest).

Since arriving, I’ve looked at exactly 10 more rental houses, on top of the 20 or so that I’ve seen on previous trips. I’ve pursued four homes, only to have them be too expensive, rented or mysteriously unavailable. Also, it turns out that 90lb labs are an issue too.

We’re in limbo…and I’m still not really liking it.

Yet, strangely, I am.

There’s something about this process that is frustrating, yet fulfilling all at the same time. While I’m very much in the middle of my transition, here are three things that I’m holding onto for dear life right now:

  1. Change, really is fun!
    Think about it, you can either get mad, worry, be full of anxiety, or, do your best and trust that it will work out—because it will.
  2. It’s not what you think it should be
    This can be the most frustrating because we spend a lot of time crafting the perfect change, only to realize that what we think change will look like, and what it will really be, is two different things. It’s best to plan really well, and be faithful to walk with one foot in front of the other—no matter what comes your way.
  3. Don’t get distracted
    This is the most dangerous of them all because it can come in many, unexpected forms: self-pity, lingering in the frustrations and doubt, just to name a few. Here, you begin to second guess a lot. If you’re here, do what you can to find the off-ramp and fast.

Nobody is perfect at change and embracing it looks different for everybody. Personally, I claim to really like it, which is me believing #1. I “really like it” because of the unpredictability of #2, which is ultimately supposed to be about #1. But right now, I’m looking for off ramps.

The reality is, in the next few days, or even in the next couple of weeks (#2), my family will be settled (#1) in our new home here in Charlotte and the difficulties of this change will begin to subside. I only hope that next time, I’ll remember these days and strive to fully embrace change. After all, it really is fun.

Filed Under: Leadership, Personal Tagged With: , ,

Why do you write?

July 2, 2010 By 17 Comments

Inspired by a recent post from one of my unintentional mentors, Michael Hyatt, I thought I’d write something personal and offer a peek into why I write in this space.

Most papers I wrote in school were plagued with red marks and the reoccurring phrase: “awkward sentence.” In fact, that statement was used so much that I have screenshots of the squiggly line with the words written above, etched into my memory. No matter how hard I’ve tried, they won’t go away.

Over the years, I’ve taken the criticism I’ve received of my writings to heart. Essentially, all of critiques, well intended or not, reinforced what I had already been told—I write awkwardly. Since the word “awkward” is never used to exemplify a positive experience, it’s not hard to imagine that this repetition had negative effects on my desire to write. It didn’t matter what it was for, I accepted the reality that I was a “bad writer” and that got me out of writing pretty much anything of importance. After all, who wants the “bad writer” to take lead on a group project or advertising copy? Me either.

In college, I confided with one of my professors that I was really struggling in his class. He asked me a handful of questions and promptly diagnosed me with a “learning disorder.” Immediately afterward, he stated that his wife dealt with these kinds of “issues” and that gave him the moral authority to diagnose me. Great, so not only am I a bad writer, but now I have a learning disorder. No wonder my motto in college was “C’s get degrees.” I was convinced.

It’s only been in the past five-to-six years that I’ve dared to challenging these, and other voices. Before then, these people represented the authority and no matter what I thought, they were right. So, when teachers told me I couldn’t write or worse yet, that I have a learning disability, I believed them. As much as I didn’t want to, I did, I have and to some degree, I still do.

So, why do I write this blog?

As much as I would like to say that I write to become a “Tribe” leader, grow a following or boost my stats, it’s not like that for me. Sure, I get distracted by those ambitions, but at the end of the day, I write to silence the voices and the resistance. I write to prove to myself that I’m not a bad writer. I write to, in some ways, prove to my teachers that they were and are wrong.

Seth Godin has been one of the primary catalysts in helping me re-evaluate the things that have impacted my life the most. To be honest, this has given me an incredible amount of permission to challenge the voices and systems that have shaped who I am to this day. What I am finding is, it’s not that they were totally wrong, but they weren’t entirely right.

Why do you write?
Filed Under: Leadership Tagged With: ,

Fresh Ideas

July 1, 2010 By 1 Comment

Thinking and creating is the majority of what most of us do.

The truth is, it takes as much time to think of something fresh, as it does to think of something stale.

Which one do you prefer?

Which one do you get excited about?

Which one do you share with friends, colleagues and family members?

I don’t know about you, but with the invention of the internet, I see and hear about a lot of ideas.

Most of them are stale. Very few are fresh.

So how do you know if your idea is fresh? People will say things like…

“Finally!”  or ”I wish I thought of that!”

If you’re going to put the time and energy into creating something new, make sure it’s fresh, but most of all, remember this:

Nobody else can bring what you have to the table. You are unique. You are one-0f-a-kind and your perspective and creativity only rivals your own. Own it. Dig deep, be diligent to deliver fresh ideas. It’s just more fun.

Filed Under: Leadership