On a recent date-night, my wife and I ventured to see the movie Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. While I can’t say that I thought this was a stellar, or even a good, flick, I did walk away with an unexpected surprise.
The context of the film is quite simple and common today, unfortunately. You have a guy who gets any girl he wants, except the one he really wants. So rather than pursuing her, he rejects, mocks and is audaciously crude in a weak attempt to conjure up a jealous reaction. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Meanwhile, the story reveals that his Uncle taught him how to be “that guy” from an early age, based on the following statement…
Control belongs to the one who cares the least
This is so remarkably profound that I have yet to be able to prove it wrong. In fact, I believe that it reveals a truth behind the majority, if not all, relational breakdowns experienced in marriage, parenting, friendship and even in the workplace.
Control is nothing more than displaced power. Ultimately, the best friend, spouse, parent, leader, manager—you name it—inspires others to live up to their potential. Moreover, they understand that relational power is delicate and very powerful when harnessed for the good. When harnessed for the bad, it become self-centered, manipulating and ultimately destructive for both parties; guaranteed.