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Controlling Relationships

May 28, 2009 By 7 Comments

On a recent date-night, my wife and I ventured to see the movie Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. While I can’t say that I thought this was a stellar, or even a good, flick, I did walk away with an unexpected surprise.

The context of the film is quite simple and common today, unfortunately. You have a guy who gets any girl he wants, except the one he really wants. So rather than pursuing her, he rejects, mocks and is audaciously crude in a weak attempt to conjure up a jealous reaction. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Meanwhile, the story reveals that his Uncle taught him how to be “that guy” from an early age, based on the following statement…

Control belongs to the one who cares the least

Wow.

This is so remarkably profound that I have yet to be able to prove it wrong. In fact, I believe that it reveals a truth behind the majority, if not all, relational breakdowns experienced in marriage, parenting, friendship and even in the workplace.

Control is nothing more than displaced power. Ultimately, the best friend, spouse, parent, leader, manager—you name it—inspires others to live up to their potential. Moreover, they understand that relational power is delicate and very powerful when harnessed for the good. When harnessed for the bad, it become self-centered, manipulating and ultimately destructive for both parties; guaranteed.

Filed Under: Leadership

Dare to bare…

May 28, 2009 By 1 Comment

In t-minus 53 hours and 22 minutes, my wife and I will load up the kids and start our drive to Destin, FL for a much-needed and anticipated family vacation. This year, my daughter will be almost two and my son is fast approaching five months. Needless to say, I am so excited about this vacation. I can’t wait to see the ocean and the sand through a two year-old’s perspective. I think it’s going to be a blast.

Because I own my own business, part of the challenge that I’ve faced for the past three-plus years is that it doesn’t matter when or where I go, I am always on call. This boundary has been almost impossible to set otherwise.

This year will be different.

Today, I committed to checking out of work responsibilities for the entire week. No phone calls and no checking or responding to email the whole week. I will turn off email on my phone, set an out-of-office responder and say goodbye, officially, at 5pm CST on Friday; buh-bye.

Why? Good question.

The number one thing that I’ve learned about living intentionally is to be fully present in every moment. If I’m going to have a chance of realizing the anticipation I already have, I have no choice but to say no to what’s normal. It is my hope that in doing so, that the time will be more restful, enriching and deeply satisfying. But as I dig deeper, this isn’t really about me; it’s about my family.

I hope that when we come home, we will have loads of memories, pictures and video of the little things that were capture and celebrated. From the sand castles we built, to the hours in the kiddie pool, to the sweet times we’ll have on the porch swing, these are the times that can be missed—quickly—if I’m not intentional and fully present.

So, let the games, movies, conversations, sleeping, dreaming, swimming, eating, shopping, exploring, laughing, loving, golfing, fishing, sleeping, sunsets, sunrises, beach time, sleeping, date nights….begin. I can’t wait!

When was the last time you unhooked and unplugged?

PS. Attention clients. I wouldn’t really ignore you, so I’ve set up an emergency email account that you can reach me anytime at—JUST KIDDING!

Filed Under: Misc Tagged With:

Five Blogs I Recommend

May 27, 2009 By 4 Comments

Lately, I’ve been uninspired to write here due to a variety of reasons. So rather than trying to come up with something creative, I thought I would take advantage of the Google Reader Trend statistics and share with you the top five blogs that I’ve been reading over the past 30 days.

If you’re a Google Reader user as well, you can access this same data by clicking on the “Trends” link in your navigation area.

Okay, here we go:

#1 Macworld – I am a Mac enthusiast and I find that Macworld offers one of the most comprehensive feeds for Mac related news, software and products. I read 25% of their posts.

#2 Advertising Age – Makes sense…I’m a marketing guy at heart and this is one of the ways that I stay tuned into what’s happening in my market. However, just tonight, I found Mediaweek which is a promising read as well. I read 25% of their posts.

#3 FlowerDust.net (Anne Jackson) – Anne’s blog is a new favorite. She is the author of Mad Church Disease, a book dedicated to helping those in ministry, vocational or volunteer, steer clear from burnout—which is a MAJOR problem. One of the reasons that I, and many others, enjoy reading her blog is that she is one of the most honest bloggers out there. Seriously, it stretches even me. Check it out. I read 100% of her posts.

#4 Nielsen Wire – I just recently found this blog. It’s written by the fine folks at Nielsen and it is FULL of great articles about what’s going on in our culture. Topics include, but aren’t limited to: TV, technology, trends, economy, and much more. Did you know that just over 1/3 of American’s have an HDTV and the average person watches 153 hours of TV a month? Yeah, that kind of stuff. It’s a must-read for me. I read 19% of their posts.

#5 Without Wax (Pete Wilson) – Pete is also a new favorite. He is the senior pastor at Cross Point church here in Nashville and is one of the more forward thinking pastors I know when it comes to how to use media, technology and the Bible, all in one blog post. He’s building a great community of thinkers, believers and activists at Cross Point and on his blog. I read 94% of his posts.

So there you have it. Five blogs that I read regularly that I think you might enjoy. Feel free to share with me some of your favs in the comment section. I’m always looking to expand my horizons.

Filed Under: Social Media Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Amazon is missing the boat on the Kindle

May 6, 2009 By 2 Comments
amazon-kindle-2-photo

amazon-kindle-2-photoWhen the Amazon.com Kindle was unveiled in the Fall of 2007, I, being a gadget guy, was immediately interested. What would it look like? Feel like? How heavy would it be? What would the screen look like? Would the Amazon claim be true that the screen looks like you are reading a printed book?

I like many others, have wondered and been interested in touching, feeling and holding a Kindle. Unfortunately, I have yet to have that experience. In my opinion, this is a major problem for Amazon. If they want people to spend $359 on the Kindle and now $489 on the Kindle DX, a sight unseen business model isn’t going to work for the masses. That’s the first problem.

The second problem with the Kindle is that it doesn’t convert the books that I’ve already bought. At this point, converting my current read and unread library to a digital format isn’t possible, thus requiring a re-purchase of the Kindle version—which is not likely. To be fair, the fine folks at Thomas Nelson have started a new program called NelsonFree that allows anyone who has purchased a printed book to gain access to digital versions, including the Kindle, at no additional cost. While this does allow me to enjoy a book in whatever format I want, it doesn’t solve the prior purchase issue.

If problems are really opportunities, then I see two:

  1. A program that converts paper books into digital files. This would require origination or partnering with the copyright holders; just ask Google
  2. Figure out a way to exchange a paper book for a digital one – Thomas Nelson is testing a similar idea on one of their new releases

Being that I am a gadget guy who reads a lot of books, the Kindle is right up my alley. However, Amazon is mistaken if they think that I will buy one sight unseen.

Come on Amazon. I only want to experience it before I buy it. Is that asking too much?

Filed Under: Marketing Tagged With: , , , ,